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Specter06

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I got stuck with this song in the back of my head about a week ago. I remember watching this series on TV and even decided to rewatch it a couple of years back.

I'm surprised they haven't removed it yet due to copyright concerns but the full series is up on youtube.


Why am I telling you this? Well, it hasn't got anything to do with the series, strangely, though it's a nice watch. No, I'm telling you this because the song is wonderfully sad and when I listen to it I am overwhelmed with feelings. Memories, but also feelings of very painful nostalgia. Even good memories can hurt a lot, sometimes more than bad memories.


I have one major problem and it has been part of my episodes of depression since the beginning:


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"I can't move on."

-------------------


I find myself unable to let the past by the past and let go of the things that I love. On top of that, I find myself growing too easily attached to fictional characters. I care TOO MUCH about what happens to them.


Yes, I'm talking about Stith and the one story that has been written about her that I just can't forget, even though the authors have let it go long, long ago. I'm talking about 'Lachrimae' again. I even went as far as to base my latest work on it, because it was so well-written and wonderfully sad, yet only 8 of the 45 chapters remain on fanfiction.net.


https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2485673/1/Lachrimae


If you read these first 8 chapters, you'll catch a glimpse of how much passion went into this piece. Not only did it make for a worthy Stith backstory, but it is by far the best piece of fanfiction in the history of Titan A.E.'s forgotten fandom. I wish they had uploaded the remaining chapters for everyone to enjoy, even though the story was never finished, even after 45 chapters.


AO3 allows for the upload of any kind of content, so that would've taken care of both the violent and the juicier parts of later chapters and it even allows the uploader to dissociate onself with the story if he or she so desires so they won't be bothered anymore. It would have made me the happiest man on Earth of they had done that.


The sad truth is, they moved on long ago.


Life often feels to me like it's all about saying goodbye and letting go of the things we love at some point.


Why can't I?

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Hi everyone,


Hope you're all doing well. I haven't been on here for a couple of years now.

Many of your probably thought I had left for good and for a period of time I thought so too.


I thought I was done with writing and after finishing the Boundaries to Break I couldn't bring myself to finish Shattered Universe or continue developing the series of Imperial Guard shorter stories I was developing at the time. My life is still a wild rollercoaster of mostly unpleasant things that I have a hard time dealing with.


About Shattered Universe, I will not be continuing this fanfic. It's a prime example of a flawed piece that has too many problems to fix. It was fun to write but now that I look back at it, there are lots of cringeworthy moments. Mostly melodrama, unrealistic plot elements, OOC dialogue and at least one original character crossing into Mary Sue territory. I will leave the (unfinished) trilogy up, but it's officially cancelled.


On the other hand, I have gone back to writing again because I felt that Imperial Guard could be a very fun ride for me as a writer. Even of no one reads it, I just like developing a world and characters and make them come alive. It's what I've missed during the last couple of years of complete standstill. I couldn't get it out of my head and after more than three years, I started writing the ideas down and now I've written almost four new chapters in an equal number of weeks.


Been using fanfiction.net and archiveofourown.org to post everything because the DA text editor is very markup unfriendly and kills all the subtle italicized words unless I add the HTML tags myself.


I'm also going back to the Boundaries to Break. I loved writing that story. So I'm giving the chapters on FF and AO3 a healthy edit so that any future readers (if anyone's left alive in this fandom at all) are presented with a better piece of writing. It will not change the story at all. It will only fix spelling, grammar, any persisting inconsistencies, sentence structure et cetera. et cetera. Might even add more details to certain scenes here and there. Chapter 1 is already done.


So in other words. I'm not gone. I'm writing again and I wish you all the best.

Might even start requesting commissions again. ;)

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My Comeback

3 min read

Hey guys, watchers, friends, everyone. I know it's been a long while since I last touched deviantART. That has a reason and I will tell in a moment. It is just that for a while now I haven’t felt like writing or posting anything. I’m working a full-time job as a software engineer but that doesn’t really have much to do with it, although I do have a lot less spare time than when I was still studying. ^^;

No, I’ve had a pretty rough past and I sometimes I have the feeling I have been fighting through life most of the time. Of course I’ve had fun too but I always felt it took me just a little more effort to enjoy than the people around me. And yeah, people have never told me before but eventually you start noticing that you’re different. In your behavior compared to others, interests, hobbies, everything. When I got older I started thinking differently about the world (because of my past) but I also started coping with feelings of depression more what’s good for a healthy person.

So that’s why I decided to take it to a psychologist. He was a really great help. During the last couple of weeks I’ve discovered so much about myself. More than I ever knew. Now I know much more about who I am and how I can deal with negative feelings and emotions. I had been fighting a constant battle with myself and the world around me. So I took a large variety of tests to find out if anything was wrong, have been talking more to people about certain things/problems/feelings/ideas. As it turns out, the conclusion of the whole thing is that I have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and I’ve had that feeling for a while now, before I took the tests, before I even started talking to a psychologist or to my parents.

Back to deviantART, story writing and just being creative. I am planning to make my comeback. I’m sorry for disappearing all of a sudden. I was really enjoying deviantART and FanFiction but was having difficulty managing my timetable (partly because I’m setting impossible goals for myself because of my condition) and I feel (even though it doesn’t have to be) that I don’t have time to get anything done. But I’m not ready to give up on everything I’ve created up till now. I love you guys, love your art and of course the commissions I’ve done with some of you in the past. So I’m coming back, starting with this journal. I’m going to catch up on all the art you’ve created in the meantime and will try to start posting again because I still have lots of ideas that I want to work out. You might see my posts appearing under your works again soon. :D

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Happy B-day DA! It's time to tell you my story.
The reason for me to join deviantART was rather unusual. My reasons for visiting this site were simple. I was and still am a major fan of the movie Titan A.E. and was looking for awesome fanart.
I was working at a fanfic at that time (of which part 3 still isn't finished, I know) and was looking for inspiration once again. It was only then that stumbled across some of :iconmrwolf86:'s works.
Be my Guardian by MrWolf86 I am nothing without you by MrWolf86 3 different Akrennians by MrWolf86

Okay, so I instantly recognized these characters and that scene from my own story. Turned out he read most of it and created fanart for a fanfic (fanception?!) Can you believe how blown away I was when I found out? So that was actually the reason for me to finally create an account, fave his works, follow him and become part of the community.

And that's where I took off. I've said it once or twice before. I'm not much of an artist. But I am a writer. That massive fanfic (which is still going on, but will need 8 to 10 or so more chapters before it's finally finished after more than 5 years of writing) is only posted on fanfiction but it was sort of an experiment. I tried to bring all kinds of crazy concepts together with the characters of Titan A.E. and find out if I really had a talent for writing. Turned out I more or less did. Even after all those years, and with the fandom of Titan A.E. almost completely gone, the story still gained a number of pretty loyal readers. It was on fanfiction that I met :iconladytae: and she's one of them too. It was only logical to start watching her here on DA as well. After all I was reading her fanfics as she read mine.

Like most of Titan A.E.'s fans, I have an obsession with one of the characters. That would be, this girl:
From the Titan A.E. How to Draw Book: Stith 1 by Specter06
Or actually, her species in general. I've never quite understood what it is. Her most unusual looks, her cranky but lovable bad attitude. She's just cool! ^^
The fans of Titan A.E. in the past have greatly expanded on her species, adding different races of Mantrins with different looks and features.
Two writers were actually bold enough to write a massive fanfic about her and her kind called "Lachrimae".
That story was honestly the best fanfic I've ever read.
Unfortunately, they never finished it for various reasons and eventually it was even taken off the web almost completely (8 chapters or so remain on fanfiction.net), never to return in any other form.
It still saddens me a bit cause in the golden days of the fandom, this story was 'THE' hit. It spawned most of the Mantrin fanart around and traces of it can still be found all around the internet.
But it disappeared, the writers didn't bother with it anymore after 45 chapters and the fandom still died out almost completely after all those years.

But that didn't stop me. Inspired by this fic and the tons of fan ideas I found lingering around, forgotten by everyone else, I created an (unofficial of course) guide on Mantrins, defining their (possible) biology, culture, history and technology by combining all that fanon with ideas of my own. Here's the first page:
Book of the Mantrin - A Reference GuideBased upon the character of Stith
(Stith, Mantrins and Titan A.E. Copyright of 20th Century Fox)
Contents Preview
Planets
Sogowa Prime (short: Sogowa)
Solbrecht
Mantrins - The Species and its Races
Biology
Internal Anatomy
Mantrins and Their Races (Updated Jan 5th 2014)
Culture
Language
Body Language
Social Structure
Standards, Values, Do’s and Don’ts
Clothes
Body Decoration
Art
Music
Song and Dance
Religion
Competitive Fighting
The Imperial Guard
Corruption
The Downfall
A New Beginning
The Uniform
Ships of the Line
Tyr’derra Class (Battleship)
Laeisia Class (Battle Cruiser)
Aldanar Class (Assault Carrier)
Myr’loa Class (Cruiser)
Technology (New since Dec 29th 2013)
Equipment
Weapons
       
Note: Subject to change at all times
 

And especially this part is interesting since it contains most of the info on the different races created by the fans.
  04 Mantrins and Their RacesMantrins and Their Races
The great diversity of Mantrins lies within the different races which share many characteristics in common but with each having unique traits of their own. This special section describes a number of some of the unique races of Mantrin that walk the surface of both Solbrecht and Sogowa and once shared one planet.
Sogowan (Created by Fox Animation Studios)
Average Lifespan: 80 - 100 (Earth years)
Age of sexual maturity: 11
Age of adulthood: 20
Gestation period: 1 (Earth year)
Average height: 6'0" - 7'4" (182 - 224 cm)
Average weight: 220 - 260 pounds (about 100 - 118 kg)
Estimated % of total population (not counting crossbreeds): 28% (Sogowa), 26% (Solbrecht)
The moment you meet your very first Mantrin, there is a pretty big change that he or she belongs to the Sogowan race. Making up for more than a fourth of th
 

I loved writing that guide. With it, I also created a kind of reference that is free to use for everyone and a strong basis for any future stories I might write with chararacters that belong to this species.
That brings me to the last item I'd like to discuss, which is "The Boundaries to Break", a story based on an idea I considered stupid at first but required some encouragement. I have :iconladytae: to thank for that.
It's a story about a 17 year old human girl named Rachel Sanchez. She's just an ordinary high school student but it's the far future, she lives on a faraway planet called Solbrecht, which happens to be one of the Mantrin homeworlds (based on my reference guide) and she's fallen in love with one of the natives, a Mantrin boy named Arzu (same age, same school, same class). Or actually it was the other way around. When he laid eyes on her it happened. ;) It's basically a love story and these two have a lot of difficulties and as you might understand, cultural differences to conquer. Here is the first chapter:
The Boundaries to Break: Chapter 1Chapter 1 The Usual School Day
Have you ever experienced that moment when you looked straight into a guy’s eyes, and instantly and undoubtedly knew he was going to be that special person in your life for whom you would be prepared to sacrifice everything? Some people might say it only happens once in a lifetime. Well, let me tell you this, it happened to me. It was just little bit different from what you, me and everyone around me expected. But there’s no way to expect it. It just happens, suddenly, when you least expect it...
As I stand here, on the grass-covered hills around the town of Tharea on the surface of Sogowa Prime, with the last warming rays of the early summer sun, caressing the exposed skin on my arms as it sets in the distance, inhaling the fresh air scented with sweet blossom, I think back of how it all started. Far away on another world. A world I never really called my own, despite the fact that I was born there. My name is Rachel S


I loved writing that. It helped me to define Mantrin culture even better, letting an ordinary human girl deal with it from up close. It's the work I'm most proud of right now. Because I can't draw myself, I commissioned two great artists to help me create Arzu's image.
By :iconmrwolf86::
Character sheet commission for Specter06 by MrWolf86
In the same style as the movie. I loved how it worked out. If the story was transformed into an animated movie, this is probably what he would look like.

By :iconmariejaneworks::
Arzu ~ Commission by MarieJaneWorks
Yes, I always imagine my stories as realistic when I'm writing them so that's why I asked her for a realistic portrait based on some examples and :iconmrwolf86:'s work.
If the story is in turn transformed into a live action film with real humans and CGI aliens, this is incredibly close to how I imagine him and what he would look like on the screen.

This is a good moment to finish this journal.
I'm working on so much more and this could potentially become endless.
Thanks for reading you all. You're all great! :D

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Friends:

:iconladytae::iconrensmeerkat::iconmrwolf86::iconljsraksha::iconneo222::iconmariejaneworks::iconsan-jorge::iconllama-lad::iconchameleonboy12::iconjuliabur::icondollyshewolf::iconcatazarch::iconhellawulf::iconsgtlegendkiller::iconlittleliet::iconsensiblebunny::iconteamendermc::iconbunni-minecraft::iconxinyilx::iconaquira:

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Yes, so I finished the final chapter of this story and thereby completed it by posting it this week.
The feeling after typing those last words, the image of that very last scene in my mind.
First I felt glad. I finished a small novel and I loved writing it, even though I had never written a story that focused on a romantic (interspecies) relationship before.

But then something else happened and I kind of expected it since I read an article on it once. The sudden emotional wave that hits writers when they've finished a work.
I felt empty, maybe even slightly depressed. The story is finished. I'm saying goodbye to these characters as I'm not doing any sequels. It's like saying goodbye.
So the second half of this week I've been feeling kinda down. The whole time ever since I started working on it, my mind was occupied. I had something to think about, something to keep me busy.
And now that's gone. I don't know. It's like I'm too much attached to my characters. It'll probably wear off as usual but I hate the stupid feeling.

Of course there's still my other fanfic I have to finish. That's been going on for so long now. So I'm not entirely without a story to keep me occupied but this story has taken a very special place in my heart.
It's a story about love, love that apparently knows no boundaries. But I've put in a lot of moral lessons too. Respect for others even though they're different. Respect for the fragile world around us because it's so easy to harm.

So that's why I've decided to try and take this to a higher level. I'm going to read this entire thing through, submit it to a few writers and literature groups, request critique, make it better until it's perfect.
And then I'm going to submit the idea back to the original creators. Of course it's only very loosely based on Titan A.E. The only things that still connect it to the movie is some species names and designs (Mantrins, Akrennians) and the planetary name Solbrecht. I consider making a movie out of this the highest goal in my life. I don't think they'll do it. Playing safe by pumping out endless streams of sequels, remakes and reboots of already succesful franchises is the way to go for studios lately. But it's still a nice thought and it can't hurt to try. They can have the whole thing for free because it's still technically fanfiction under the only condition that if they ever decide to do something with it that they'll stay as close to the story as possible. I don't even want to be famous. I just want to see my idea hit the big screen. Then I've reached my life's goal.

Yes I'm crazy and yes it's most likely wishful thinking. But still, if you don't try you'll never get anywhere in life. Thanks for reading this.



Groups:

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Friends:

:iconladytae::iconrensmeerkat::iconmrwolf86::iconljsraksha::iconneo222::iconmariejaneworks::iconsan-jorge::iconllama-lad::iconchameleonboy12::iconjuliabur::icondollyshewolf::iconcatazarch::iconhellawulf::iconsgtlegendkiller::iconlittleliet::iconsensiblebunny::iconteamendermc::iconbunni-minecraft:

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